Shaking Hands (Rose)

[Arianne Caroline Lane]

YOU TRIED SO HARD TO BE SOMEONE THAT

[/font]
you forgot who you are you
FILL SOME EMPTINESS 'TIL ALL YOU HAD SPILLED[/size][/color]
over now everything you have is so
FAR AWAY THAT YOU DON'T KNOW WHERE YOU ARE[/color][/font][/center]

Arianne was all alone. Now this, in itself, was not such a surprising thing - while the little Ravenclaw did not mind company, she did not always go out of her way to seek it. Though perhaps that day she would have. She would have loved to talk to one of her friends about it - Liberty, or Emmalee, or even Christabel, but she had been unable to find any of them (perhaps because they had some class or the other, or just wanted to be alone themselves - Liberty and Christa, at least, definitely liked solitude at times) and thus she was all alone. Anyone looking at her in the corridors would have immediately noticed that something was wrong - Arianne was a very transparent person - but no one really saw her.

That was not so surprising either. It was that time of the day just after afternoon and before evening started, and most classes had ended, most people were in their respective common rooms. She'd glimpsed a quidditch team practicing outside that she'd thought was Slytherin. There was another group of students who'd walked past her, but they were all young, perhaps in their third year, and male, and gryffindor, and they did not even look at the silent girl walking past them. Sometimes in Hogwarts you forgot to look. Even when the girl was clearly fighting to hold back tears. Even when the normally neat, composed girl, looked in a state of disarray - a few strands of her hair were out (this was quite a lot for Arianne) and her prefect badge was a little askew. But no one really noticed, not until she reached the owlery. She took a deep breath as she walked in. The noise and smell of the birds was distracting and absolutely irritating for the girl, who liked everything to be neat and tidy and clean, but she had to finish writing the letter immediately.

She found herself a reasonably clean corner - and then went through the trouble of cleaning it a little more with a quick swish of her wand, and then pulled out her parchment and ink and started writing. Her hand was shaking as she wrote, messing up handwriting that was usually beautiful. She was writing to tell her parents about her week - which had not been good. Her new potions professor, who believed in not using textbooks (and this was incomprehensible to Arianne) had implied she'd be getting a troll if her work did not pick up, she was still failing miserably at forming the patronus charm in charms, and she was absolutely miserable at Transfiguration (which was nothing new). She finished a few paragraphs in this vein, before she realized that she could not write that to her mother! She expected so much from her, and Arianne could not bear to disappoint her in that way. She crumpled the letter - though this too, she did delicately and deliberately, and then straightened a hair pin to prevent her hair from falling in her eyes, and then brushed off a few tears from her eyes with the back of her hand. She pulled out her black satchel and rummaged around for a handkerchief (it was just wrong to use hands) - her dismay and sadness showing clearly on her pale, thin face.

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[/font][/color] rosemary, WITH[/size] five sixty [/font][/color] WORDS, AND CHARACTER’S NAME’S IN[/color] school uniform [/font][/color] THIS TEMPLATE WAS MADE BY[/font][/size] gabbu of caution 2.0![/font][/color] AND IMAGE BY lillianporter of caution 2.0![/font][/color] TUNES SUPPLIED BY[/font][/color] jet – hang on[/font][/color]
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[Rosemary Engels]

Don't Forget the Best Will Go Wrong



Never Make a Promise or Plan

---

What was it about late afternoons that was so charming? It was probably the sunsets. Or maybe the peculiar way the air felt against one’s skin: with a particular coolness, with that smell that seems to carry everything everybody had gone through with it. Or maybe… maybe it was the threat of the coming night, the rush to get back home soon before the dark –and all of its dangers– caught you. In any case, it was definitely Rose’s favorite time to go out for walks.

And this afternoon had something extra. This was exactly one whole week since Rose had arrived at Hogsmeade and began at her new job as a bar manager. At this time, seven days before, she had found herself much more tired, much more clueless, much more confused than she was now. But now she had slept, and slept; now she had breathed, now she had had some actual human interaction. She liked it. And it was the perfect moment to write to her father, as she had promised. Things were running slow at The Three Broomsticks that day anyway, so nobody would mind that she closed early.

That’s how Rose found herself back at Hogwarts. She had Apparated just outside the gates, aware that she wouldn’t have time to walk all the way there, but she had been able to enjoy all the walk through the grounds to the castle. It had been only five years since she had left, yet it seemed like an eternity had passed. She watched the kids, enjoying the beautiful landscape. Did they know that it would be over soon, that life wouldn’t be as fun anymore? Did they know just how hard the grown-up world could be? Just how unimportant everything they did now was, compared to how much teens love to dramatize?

Oh! If only she could go back to those times! Particularly before her fifth year, where everything went wrong…

She shook her head. She wouldn’t be haunted by those thoughts, not again. She should be looking forward, not back. And so her mind went rather mute the whole way to The Owlery, although her heart couldn’t get rid of that feeling that everything she saw or heard was painfully familiar, but not hers anymore… it wasn’t home anymore. And so she climbed staircase after staircase until she reached her destination.

Rose smiled. She had forgotten how beautiful it was to her to see so many animals so freely in one place. She turned around, looking owls. So many owls, but which to pick? She would let them choose her. She put her hand in her pocket and took it out holding a little brown bag, containing what was mainly crumbs of leftovers clients left at the tables, but also one or two of the treats she had for her cat, Kitty. She waited a few moments until one average-sized owl let itself fall, landed on her arm, and began to nibble at the snacks. It looked like a good enough owl. She figured she had permission to borrow it…

It was only then that Rose noticed a girl sitting in a corner behind her. It wasn’t like Rose not to notice people and this slip annoyed her. Then again this girl didn’t seem to notice her either. It wasn’t just the fact that she was in a corner, or the fact that her Ravenclaw robes seemed to match her dark hair and blue eyes. Her whole disposition was quiet, that of people who don’t want to call the attention, ever. But something about her was heartbreaking. She had tears in her eyes. She was struggling to write something. She looked pale. Everything about her was a silent scream for help. And Rose would never resist helping someone.

She gave a few steps in the direction of the girl, hoping that the noise her feet made against the mess of seeds and poop on the floor made her aware of her presence. She wouldn’t want to startle her. As she approached, the girl’s expression seemed even more broken and Rose felt a stronger and stronger urge to hug her. When she was about four feet away Rose tilted her head in her direction and spoke softly: Umm.. honey? What’s wrong? Can I help you?

She was aware that this was quite an awkward approach. But she was out of her element here: she’d usually have given her a free drink or something of the sort. And she had been caught off guard, and the girl’s sorrow seemed to pierce so directly to her. She figured it was good enough. At least she hadn’t asked if she was ok, something rather stupid to do when someone is so obviously not.

---

Recognize You're Out On Your Own
Nobody's On Nobody's Side

[Arianne Caroline Lane]

YOU TRIED SO HARD TO BE SOMEONE THAT

[/font]
you forgot who you are you
FILL SOME EMPTINESS 'TIL ALL YOU HAD SPILLED[/size][/color]
over now everything you have is so
FAR AWAY THAT YOU DON'T KNOW WHERE YOU ARE[/color][/font][/center]

She was carefully crumpling the piece of paper - first applying pressure from one side to another to another, making sure it was even - though she was not really doing it with enough force or anger to majorly affect it. And she wasnt thinking about the paper either. Her thoughts were on another day, somewhere long ago and far away. It was the day before her first day, and Arianne had already read about ten books on Hogwarts itself, she hadnt thought she'd be worried at all. What was there to be worried about when you knew about sorting and were pretty sure which house you'd be in? And if you'd memorized a map of Hogwarts (though a slightly inaccurate one)?

Well, her first day had started off like that. She'd been happy, satisfied, a child. And then she remembered her mother pulling her aside, and telling her that it would make her very happy if she got good grades and did well in Hogwarts. Even though Arianne knew that her mother had only wanted to inspire, and perhaps reassure her, that had been when she'd started getting scared. And over her five years at Hogwarts so far, all she'd wanted to do was to make her mother happy. It had been easier earlier, when she could easily get Os on everything, but now when you couldnt get Os even after working, and when your mother already expected Os in everything, Arianne was really, really scared about her OWLs - and even more about her results in it.

Anyway, she considered writing a letter to her father. He would probably be able to suggest something simple. But she was sure her mother would read it too. And she did not want that. She gulped and looked out of the window, still trying to suppress her tears. She had found her handkerchief now, and it was clutched in her left hand (the letter was in the left) but she did not feel like crying just then. It would just mess up the rest of the day as well - and besides, she barely had the time. There was a whole mess of homework for her to do still. She wiped her face once more, anxiously scrubbing so that no one could see that she'd cried - though it only made it worse, she looked red and wet and miserable.

Umm.. honey? What’s wrong? Can I help you?

She pulled the handkerchief hastily from her face. She hadnt noticed the woman in her rush of thinking and then trying to clear the signs from her face, and suddenly she was facing a fairly young woman. She had no idea who it could possibly be - she was sure it was not one of the professors, but she looked way too old be a seventh year. There was a moment of confusion on her face, before she realized what the lady had said, and it was replaced by a blush of embarrassment - Arianne did not usually share her crying fits with anyone. Very few people, actually, had seen her cry. "Oh, I'm sorry, I didnt mean to-" She had been about to complete that sentence with 'cry' before she realized how stupid she sounded, so she just trailed that off. "I'm okay," she said, sounding tired and upset and not okay at all. "Just a little stressed, that's all," she added, with an interest of being polite - once the woman was being so kind to her she couldnt just brush her off completely without even a word.

THIS POST WAS TAGGED FOR

[/font][/color] rosemary, WITH[/size] six hundred [/font][/color] WORDS, AND CHARACTER’S NAME’S IN[/color] school uniform [/font][/color] THIS TEMPLATE WAS MADE BY[/font][/size] gabbu of caution 2.0![/font][/color] AND IMAGE BY lillianporter of caution 2.0![/font][/color] TUNES SUPPLIED BY[/font][/color] jet – hang on[/font][/color]
THANK YOU FOR USING THIS TEMPLATE![/font][/color]
[/blockquote][/center][/blockquote]

[Rosemary Engels]

Don't Forget the Best Will Go Wrong



Never Make a Promise or Plan

---

Rose sighed. Apparently the girl had not heard her before she spoke, and by her reaction, it was obvious that she wasn’t happy to have been caught in such a personal moment. Rose could understand perfectly well how awful it feels to be discovered when one is so vulnerable. One’s wounds are there, out in the open, for everyone to see… and people were not usually to trust. But Rose was not someone to take advantage of someone who was vulnerable. And even when she knew that if it had been her in that situation she would have wanted to be left alone (perhaps even after mesmerizing her audience), she had also learnt the hard way that when one is a teenager you don’t always have the strength to deal by yourself. And that kind of scar remains forever. She had to do something.

As the girl pulled her handkerchief out of her face Rose realized she hadn’t only been teary, she had actually been crying. And she was trying to hide it. Her face was pinkish and her eyes were red, probably from the effort from trying to hold back tears. It was then that she noticed the girl’s impeccable clothes and her perfect hair – or so it seemed to Rose, who usually let hers fall whichever way unless it was exceptionally messy. And she was also wearing a Prefect badge. That made more sense. Prefects were usually more uptight and perfectionist. Also, more likely to crack under all the pressure they let adults put on them. But it was mostly the eyes that spoke to Rose. An initial expression of bewilderment, followed by embarrassment, in turn followed by frustration and tiredness and finally followed by an attempted politeness.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I didn’t mean to-…” Pause. “I’m okay”.

Rose’s left eyebrow raised, somewhat teasingly, as she smiled a little. The girl couldn’t seriously expect her to believe that she was fine, but she had to give her credit for trying. In a way she was a younger, neater, prettier, and by the looks of it overall better, version of herself. Fine, maybe she was just a perfectionist Ravenclaw who was sad, but still. Her voice sounded tired and upset and… maybe just a little bit angry?

Just a little stressed, that’s all.

Ah-ha! Stressed. There it was. Wait. There was something. The tiniest confession of something being wrong, no matter how insignificant she was trying to make it sound. It was a beginning. Something Rose could work with. But it would clearly not be easy to get her to open up more.

You know… I know a thing or two about people. Like for example..

[/i] she refrained from saying “crying people are sad”. If the girl was trying to act like she wasn’t crying she shouldn’t point it out, no matter how she wanted to prove her own point. Like for example, people who say they are okay are usually not. And it’s never “all”.[/i]

She grabbed the brown owl that was still standing on her arm with her other hand, put the crumbs away, and sat on a nearby windowsill, patting the owl gently. From this position she could see the Hogwarts grounds, bathed in that unique golden light of the late afternoon if she looked a little to the left, and the girl if she looked a little bit more to the right. She allowed herself a few seconds to enjoy the sight, then she glanced at herself. I’m not from here, in case you are wondering. I’m not really from anywhere… What was she saying? Rose could have slapped herself. NO. THINKING. ALOUD. IN. FRONT. OF. PEOPLE. She shook her head. I mean, I just moved to Hogsmeade, I don’t live at the school. I work at The Three Broomsticks. She looked back at the girl. Call me Rose.[/b]


[/color][/blockquote]

---

Recognize You're Out On Your Own
Nobody's On Nobody's Side
[/center]

[Arianne Caroline Lane]

YOU TRIED SO HARD TO BE SOMEONE THAT

[/font]
you forgot who you are you
FILL SOME EMPTINESS 'TIL ALL YOU HAD SPILLED[/size][/color]
over now everything you have is so
FAR AWAY THAT YOU DON'T KNOW WHERE YOU ARE[/color][/font][/center]

It was quite a difficult thing to share your sorrow. It was, for Arianne, much harder to share than even her happiness - and that was hard to share in itself. Because the thing with sorrow was, you always knew someone who had it worse than you. It felt absolutely wrong to be crying because she was afraid of getting a troll when there were people who had lost their families, or who didnt have enough to eat. The same applied when she was actually happy. It felt wrong to be happy when others were so sad. And thus, for the sake of everyone else's sadness, Arianne tried not to feel - or at least tried to show that she did not feel anything at all. Most of the time, however, she did not succeed with this. This was because if you looked at her, you could almost always tell what was going on within her mind. To quote Shakespeare, she wore her heart on her sleeves.

However, that was her reason for not immediately telling the kind lady in front of her why she had been crying, even though in her heart she really, really loved the sympathy. It reminded her, vaguely, of her own mother. And while her mother generally believed her when she said she was okay - though Arianne rarely was anything less than okay and rather busy when she was at home - the woman in front of her did not seem to believe her one bit, which could clearly be seen by her raised eyebrow and teasing smile - followed by words. At least, thought Arianne with some amount of relief, she had not seen the tears. (At this point, she quickly folded her handkerchief neatly and put it as quickly as possible into her bag). Arianne liked to believe she could hide her emotions a bit, and no one had actually robbed her of that illusion.

Like for example, people who say they are okay are usually not. And it’s never “all”.

She bit her lip as the woman sat down on a ledge close to her. Perhaps she could tell her a little bit - just enough to satisfy her curiosity, perhaps, Arianne was sure she would not be so very interested in the somewhat silly academic troubles of a girl about five years younger than her. "Its just OWL year and the expectations are really high," she said, a general statement that almost anyone in her year might have said. Well, perhaps not everyone. But at least everyone in her house. "And...classes are somehow much harder than they were before. Well, naturally they are. But it takes much more effort to cope up with everything." She did not bring up potions, though that hurt the most. She'd always loved potions. Potions was what she was good at. She'd never been good at Transfiguration and Charms - and she knew that, and she knew she had to put more effort for it, and she was okay with it. But potions class these days just plain hurt.

She followed the woman's gaze as she looked out of the window at Hogwarts. The sun was just starting its course downwards, and the sky looked beautiful. Arianne wondered why she rarely ever saw the sunset. Perhaps because she was almost always studying doing this time. She looked back at the lady when she started speaking - though her gaze lingered for a moment on the little brown owl - and then looked a little confused at her first statement. "How can someone be from nowh-" she started, before the woman clarified. "Oh, so you're from Hogsmeade. I've been there...three or four times." Generally, Arianne just used this as quiet time to study, with half the castle empty. She'd only gone to see it in the beginning, and had found it interesting, but it was a whole day that she couldnt afford to lose. This musing brought her right back to the studies, and she looked a little lost, perhaps haunted, and sad for a moment.

She managed a weak smile as the woman introduced herself. "Hi. I'm Arianne. I'm a fifth year." She paused and added, "Ravenclaw," which was probably quite unnecessary considering her robes and her badge and everything, but Arianne hadnt really noticed. "How...how come you're in Hogwarts, then?" she asked, hesitant, soft and polite. Classic Arianne.

THIS POST WAS TAGGED FOR

[/font][/color] rosemary, WITH[/size] seven hundred forty [/font][/color] WORDS, AND CHARACTER’S NAME’S IN[/color] school uniform [/font][/color] THIS TEMPLATE WAS MADE BY[/font][/size] gabbu of caution 2.0![/font][/color] AND IMAGE BY lillianporter of caution 2.0![/font][/color] TUNES SUPPLIED BY[/font][/color] jet – hang on[/font][/color]
THANK YOU FOR USING THIS TEMPLATE![/font][/color]
[/blockquote][/center][/blockquote]

[Rosemary Engels]

Don't Forget the Best Will Go Wrong



Never Make a Promise or Plan

---

It is always a great satisfaction to find things in common with a new acquaintance. To Rose, it was almost as satisfying as reaching to someone and seeing that their day was just a little bit better because they had spoke to her. And this was obviously some progress. Many people would have walked away, or tried to get rid of her, while this girl was trying to be polite.

"Hi. I'm Arianne. I'm a fifth year”. A short pause. “Ravenclaw”.

This single phrase seemed to cut deep through Rose, and she literally felt her chest expand struggling for more air. On the outside, all that could be seen was, for a second, a flash in her eyes. Fifth year. Yes, Rose had had it tough in her fifth year, but not for the usual reasons. This had been the year her mother was bitten by a werewolf, struggled for a month (during which she had not attended Hogwarts) and finally passed. This was the moment that Rose had her breakdown, the consequences of which she was still suffering. iFifth year. Her hand unconsciously went to her neck, to rub her tattoo. To anyone this might have just looked like a random gesture of anyone who is mildly stressed, but to her it was a way of revisiting the only piece of evidence of her rough past. She stared blankly for a barely noticeable two seconds, then recovered focus in her conversation.

Arianne. Arianne. Arianne. She repeated the name thrice to herself, so as not to forget it in the near future. Her teasing smile returned when the girl pointed out that she was a Ravenclaw. She was obviously quite nervous and shy, which was not surprising, really. And this was a really good place for Rose to start. She could not only help Arianne (Ari? Anne?) emotionally, but also academically, and meanwhile learn something about how things were going at Hogwarts. She wanted to know everything and everyone, while not having to be involved directly. She didn’t think any Ravenclaw would ever refuse an invitation to help with their studying. Not even Rose herself, back in her day, even when her studies were seldom involved with schoolwork. It would be perfect if it weren’t for the fact that the girl wasn’t likely to go to The Three Broomsticks often, from what she had said.

"How...how come you're in Hogwarts, then?"

The question caught Rose off guard and she was surprised for a second to remember where she actually was. She took her free hand to her pocket, emerged a letter from it, raised it in front of Arianne for her to see, and tied it to the brown owl’s leg. ”Same as you!”

[/i] she said eagerly. ”It doesn’t matter how old you are, one’s father always wants to hear you’re ok. You don’t get rid of them so easily” she joked. ”I didn’t think anyone would mind if I borrowed an owl, and even then… better to ask for forgiveness than for permission.[/b] As she released the owl, she looked back at Arianne, smiling, and winked. Truth is she didn’t like to ask anyone for anything, however lame the favor might be, as it went against her pride. It was just so much easier to just hope no one would notice and, if they did, act all careless about it, than bring herself to admit there was something she needed from someone else. But that was really not the point.

”I remember my fifth year. It was… tough.”[/i] She deliberately omitted the real reasons for that. ”So if you need any help, count me in! I’m not just being polite; it would be fun for me and if you are so nervous you could probably use a hand… If only you’d go to Hogsmeade more often we could use the pub. I could even get you free drinks!”[/i] she tried to be as cheerful as she could without sounding overexcited and creepy. Just a very wide smile, open disposition and, irresistible golden eyes.

[/color][/blockquote]

---

Recognize You're Out On Your Own
Nobody's On Nobody's Side
[/center]

[Arianne Caroline Lane]

YOU TRIED SO HARD TO BE SOMEONE THAT

[/font]
you forgot who you are you
FILL SOME EMPTINESS 'TIL ALL YOU HAD SPILLED[/size][/color]
over now everything you have is so
FAR AWAY THAT YOU DON'T KNOW WHERE YOU ARE[/color][/font][/center]

Arianne caught herself wondering why the woman was even interested. For some reason - perhaps from the fact that she'd seen people run away from those who talked too long about themselves - the little Ravenclaw never did think of her own opinions or concerns as very great. Perhaps that was wrong. She did think of her concerns as pretty big - which human did not? But she did not always think of them worthy of other people's interest or attention. But this strange lady, who had probably just wandered into the Owlery not expecting a girl to be sobbing in there, seemed actually happy to know what was troubling her - and that surprised Arianne. And then her surprise was troubling too, in a odd way she couldnt quite pin down.

And then there was something else about Rose too, something that was already cheering Arianne up - a visible sign of which was a half-smile and spots of color on her pale cheeks. She had always been pale, from not getting out in the sun enough, but right now she had looked even worse. And she did not even know what exactly had made her feel better. Perhaps it was just the woman's smile, open and inviting and (as far as Arianne, with her mostly unskeptical world-view and unobservant nature could tell) she seemed to be a genuinely nice person. And wasnt meeting someone so over-flowing with kindness a good way to put you out of a bad mood?

”Same as you!"

She looked at her own intricately crumpled letter. "Well, I guess my plan changed." She put the note back into her bag, contrary to most students who might have chucked it out of the window - there were rules against littering on the grounds, and you couldnt have paid her to litter anyway. Arianne could be called a cleanliness freak, she was the kind of person who started to put things straight as soon as she saw them, and if it was not for the fact that she was upset, the owlery might have been thoroughly cleaned before she walked out of the room. She'd done that hundreds of times in the past, though it did always disintegrate into dirtiness in a few hours, perhaps because there were so many birds there. That was why Arianne, though she liked animals, wouldnt ever have a pet - or live near an animal of any type.

Rose's words has made her look puzzled though. "Isnt it easier to be safe than sorry?" she said, frowning. Arianne believed in making sure she never, ever got into trouble - simply by memorizing rule books and trying to take permission before doing just about anything, and it was quite hard for her to believe anyone would think the opposite. Wasnt it much easier to just go over to the headmaster (who wasnt that bad, not according to Arianne anyway) and then ask him for permission. "Not that I think you'll get into trouble over it, loads of people use the school owls. I'm pretty sure the rulebook has something about just returning them in two weeks or something." She shrugged. She had read the rulebook so many times that she knew it practically by heart, as silly as that was.

Then the mood became more sombre. "Fifth years are quite hard," she agreed. "Everyone is so stressed, it feels like I dont even have the right too." After all, she knew she had a good memory and everything. She knew others who struggled with learning stuff like history of magic, which came easily to her. But she still felt down when she couldnt get Os. She had to be perfect, after all. She considered the Hogsmeade thing. "Well, I guess I could shift around stuff on my schedule andd make it." She paused, and nodded. "Yup. I definitely could." Most people would make sure a promise and forget about it, but not Arianne. "It would be nice to get the help." She didnt really drink, so the other part didnt really matter much, but she couldnt think of a nice way to say that.

THIS POST WAS TAGGED FOR

[/font][/color] rosemary, WITH[/size] six eighty eight [/font][/color] WORDS, AND CHARACTER’S NAME’S IN[/color] school uniform [/font][/color] THIS TEMPLATE WAS MADE BY[/font][/size] gabbu of caution 2.0![/font][/color] AND IMAGE BY lillianporter of caution 2.0![/font][/color] TUNES SUPPLIED BY[/font][/color] jet – hang on[/font][/color]
THANK YOU FOR USING THIS TEMPLATE![/font][/color]
[/blockquote][/center][/blockquote]

[Rosemary Engels]

Don't Forget the Best Will Go Wrong



Never Make a Promise or Plan

---

The girl’s over-cautious attitude was starting to amuse Rose. She wasn’t only shy, but was revealing herself as being always careful about others. So careful, Rose thought, that she was probably missing out on a lot of things teenagers should enjoy. If this wasn’t the time to be wild and free and laugh at the rules, which was? So long as no one got hurt in the way, of course. That was the line. But outside of that, why not try new things? Of course, that didn’t entirely contradict the better safe than sorry saying. It was, in fact, better to be safe when it came to preparing for an exam (a self-criticism that Rose had to make to herself). Or whether to eat something that looks suspicious. Or going out by yourself in the middle of the night….

Rose looked out the window again. The shadows were getting gradually longer. She wanted to stay longer but she wasn’t sure if she should. As much as she liked walking and sunsets, being by yourself at night was a situation she wouldn’t ever want to be involved in. And she couldn’t Dissaparate from within school grounds – she had tried it herself a couple of times, just in case. She could always walk to the gates and Dissaparate the minute she stepped out, but even that could be dangerous if it got dark enough. Then again this was Hogwarts, and it was more than unlikely that a werewolf would happen to be roaming outside the castle. And Arianne… Arianne?

Rose refocused on Arianne for a brief second, heard the word “rulebook”, and stopped paying attention again. The little Ravenclaw was trying to be reassuring but she didn’t care much anyways. In fact something inside her wanted to get in some kind of trouble. She had never gotten over the need to do something stupid. Just to feel something. And then laugh and act careless about it. She wondered if she could be considered what some people called a “hot mess”. She laughed at herself in her head: she sure hoped so, particularly for the “hot” part.

And then Arianne began to speak about her own troubles again and Rose smiled. There was always the possibility that the girl was not being sincere, and didn’t plan to go visit her at all, but she didn’t seem like the kind of person who would lie. She stood from the windowsill, and eyed the girl one more time. Hot chocolate, pumpkin juice, or iced soda with ice and an umbrella. Depending on the weather. And probably apple pie. And then there was the chance that her experiment might work out, and Arianne (and afterwards, pretty much all Hogwarts students) would be thankful. She was trying to create a light potion that she could add to some pastry or drink, without altering its flavor, that could help students concentrate and maybe even get a little smarter. She wouldn’t serve it until she was sure it was safe, of course. And then she didn’t think school authorities would be very happy if they heard about such a thing.. but it was worth a shot.

”Great! I’ll be looking forward to it!” She took a couple of steps around, her attention again directed at the owls. She caught one staring at her, walked in its direction, and began to pet it. This owl was smaller, white, and with big blue eyes, that showed that it was quite smart, but not proud like some of the more majestic-looking owls that were staring from up above. Owls were such cute things. So smart, caring and reliable. If she had her way, she would own every animal, magical or not. The owl emitted a soft hoot and she was happy that it was happy.

Without turning, Rose addressed the girl once more. She couldn’t help but being curious, but she didn’t want to be intrusive, so this way would make the girl – Arianne – less intimidated. So are you going to tell me who is putting all that pressure on you? Anything to do with that letter you didn’t send? She said this light-heartedly, trying not to sound too serious, but at the same time sounding confident and, she hoped, trustworthy. She wanted to find out about other adults in the area, mainly about the teachers and the Headmaster, but the unsent letter couldn’t be ignored. Kids, or young women, don’t usually pressure themselves so much without some authority figure helping them with that. Whether it was parents, teachers, or both, it sure sounded like Arianne had something to say about that, even if she wasn’t willing to say it.

---

Recognize You're Out On Your Own
Nobody's On Nobody's Side

[Arianne Caroline Lane]

YOU TRIED SO HARD TO BE SOMEONE THAT

[/font]
you forgot who you are you
FILL SOME EMPTINESS 'TIL ALL YOU HAD SPILLED[/size][/color]
over now everything you have is so
FAR AWAY THAT YOU DON'T KNOW WHERE YOU ARE[/color][/font][/center]

Since as long as she remembered, Arianne had been obsessed with looking perfect. No, not physically beautiful - Arianne knew herself well enough to know that while she was pleasant looking she wasnt heartbreakingly pretty, either. And neither did she try to go out of her way to do the same - unlike most of the girls in her year, she did not have a smidge of make-up on her face, and neither did she have on any jewelery, or fancy clothes. There were reasons. Make-up just seemed unnecessary, fancy clothes werent allowed most of the time - and besides, her parents had to spend enough on books - and jewelery just dangled around and made you hot and bothered. She did have on a single blue necklace tucked inside the uniform, with a barely visible silver chain - but she kept that one more in memory than for anything else. Even that irritated her sometimes.

No, she had never wanted to be beautiful. But it had always been important to look neat, and tidy, and organized. She hated sloppy people who came with their uniforms half out and with blackened eyes and long ragged nails and things like that - even though she knew people who found that very attractive. But Arianne had always liked to have her uniform neatly tucked in, hair properly in place - in a tight ponytail or bun behind her head with hundreds of pins to keep them in place and out of her eyes - and her nails cut tiny and neatly as small as they would get. It was the only thing that prevented her from biting them, as she was quite fond of doing a few years ago. This was the objective she was trying to achieve even as she sat on the ledge, pulling and rearranging pins (though this was mostly nervousness), and trying to straighted her uniform and her badge.

She looked curiously, and managed a smile at the woman's obvious excitement on her agreeing to come to Hogsmeade. It would probably mean some more late(r) nights, but Arianne could deal with that. The way the woman handled the owls was fascinating - Arianne watched in awe as she held a small owl, with blue eyes almost like her own. Except not, because they were owl-eyes. But still, she was looking at the beautiful little thing. At such a distance, and free from any hassles of cleaning up - well, the owl almost looked like one that Arianne might like to buy - though the thought didnt last long. When her mother had asked her if she'd like a cat, owl or toad to take to school, she'd laughed. And then cried. But she'd always known that pets made her uncomfortable - too much responsibility, too much mess. She did manage a small smile though, looking at the owl. Tiny, but a start.

So are you going to tell me who is putting all that pressure on you? Anything to do with that letter you didn’t send?


And once again, the conversation was on to more serious things. She was surprised that the woman had even noticed the letter, and then realized that it had probably been a pretty obvious one. She was glad the woman was not looking at her, she might have seen the sudden flush on her face and the way the smile disappeared. She took a breath, and decided that she could trust Rose. In fact, though Arianne did not see Rose as the kind of person who might, for example, help with her study plan, she did know that unexpected people sometimes had amazing insights that could surprise you. That could change the way you looked at something. Yes, perhaps Rose could give her a solution.

"Well," she began, her voice hesitant. "Its mostly the studies. I feel really confused. I work but it doesnt seem to give me enough return and its really hard..." She paused, gulped. "And I just cant seem to do spells in transfiguration. And I havent managed to make a patronus yet for charms. And potions...I thought I was good at potions, I like potions..." She stopped, and then finally looked away. "And the letter, well. I tried to tell this to my parents, but I dont want to...I dont want to worry them. That would just be wrong." She wondered if her father would worry, probably not. But her mother had always said she had wanted her little Ari to make something of herself and the gifts she'd been given.

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