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Post by Anko Morbova on Jun 14, 2011 14:21:06 GMT -5
Being back at Hogwarts was supposed to be the greatest idea ever! At least that's what Anko Morbova had thought, when he told his parents he would be happier at Hogwarts, where he had gone to school with his sisters and had many exciting adventures with some great friends...
He had spent a year of his Wizarding learning at Durmstrang, but there, it didn't have the same feelings that Hogwarts had given him and he missed the familiar faces that made the school feel like a second home. Plus there was the fact that even still, after several years of his older brother Aleksi even attending Durmstrang, he was living in the man's shadows...
Going back to Hogwarts was supposed to be an epic event, at least in his mind! So much had happened with his family over the last couple of years and he just wanted a sense of the past that was simpler, happier but now being back at the castle...it looked the same but it definitely didn't feel the same...
He missed his sisters, as much as they could get annoying, always fussing over him and such. He'd really started to grow up, being a much taller and older boy than he was the last time he entered the Great Hall for a meal with his house mates. Fifteen, there were times he could hardly believe it himself. The fact that his family had missed his last birthday didn't help the matter of him trying to remember he was the age he was now...
Anko couldn't keep himself shut up in his dorm anymore. He grabbed a tattered brown box that his owl, Gryff had delivered a couple of weeks ago and stuck it up under his arm. He then took a glance in the mirror, his features sure had changed since the last time he was here. The boy's face, like the rest of his body had grown, longer and lean but there were still hints and reflections of his boyish baby face...
He set the box down on the dresser and ran his fingers through his moppy hair and shrugged. Maybe getting outside would lift his spirits, even if he was just going to travel back down a path of old memories with that box again. Anko curled a strand of hair in his finger and stuck his tongue out at his reflection as he grabbed his favorite red cap off a hook on the wall and buried his blonde locks beneath it...
Tucking the box back under his arm he grabbed a faded red envelope from the dresser and shoved it into the back pocket of his dark denim jeans and quickly made his way down from the towers. He passed many faces, but most weren't familiar. Things sure had changed since he'd been gone, he had never been one to keen on sulking or getting stuck on the past but he was growing and changing and he was really starting to miss the past...
As he stepped outside he felt the warmth of the afternoon sun wash over him. A small smile spilled across his lips as he closed his eyes and basked in the glory of the light. On lookers could have sworn the young man was glowing as he stood on the front steps for a few moments, feeling his energy boosting with the suns rays...
Taking in a deep breath Anko sprung out across the Courtyards til he came upon a picnic table that sat off to the side. It had a nice amount of sun light which he enjoyed and made him feel a bit more cheerful. Setting the box down on the table, Anko pushed up the sleeves of his thin, long sleeve, red, v-neck shirt and undid the trio of buttons of his gray silk vest. His style was always evolving it seemed now a days but he liked it...
He kicked his legs around and under the table and took a seat facing away from anyone else who might be enjoying the bright afternoon. He reached back and pulled the envelope from his back pocket and smoothed it out on the table with his soft hands. He flipped it over and carefully slid the contents of it out onto the table. It was a card...a birthday card, it's soft muted colors and delicate writing proved to be that it was sent from a woman. The front of the card held an aged picture of two very blonde people, a young boy and a slightly older girl. Anko ran his finger tips over the picture and then opened the card slowly...
His eyes were immediately drawn to two delicately written letters at the end of the card, "IZ"...IZ...Iz...Izabella, there was no denying the fact that the two had always been closest. His sister and he had almost shared a soul, they understood each other and protected each other and he missed her most of all...
As he read over the words written by his sister's delicate hand he remembered their time here at school together and he wished he could see her face right now. He missed his family, he missed his friends and he missed his old life. Things were always changing for him now, feelings he couldn't explain and everything seemed so much more complicated then it used to be...
"My dearest baby brother...you are becoming a truly great and beautifully sculpted young man. We watch you grow and I love knowing the special bond that we will forever have, no matter how far apart we may be in this life..." he read her words softly to himself as he began to open the box that had accompanied the card. It had been birthday gifts from Izabella and Zayn, her husband now and as he read the words over and over in his mind he felt a cool sting as tears began to mist down his beautiful ivory cheeks...
He pulled from the box first a beautiful and shining necklace, of silver and pewter. He clutched the charm in his free hand and squeezed his eyes shut as he softly whispered, "I miss you so much," he wasn't aware of his surroundings in that moment that his world was flooded with the past and he wasn't aware that he was no longer about to be alone.
WORDS! 1048
STATUS! Complete
TAGS! Anko & Arianne
INSPIRATION! The Killers
CREDITS! Template Byarro @ Caution!
LYRICS! Mr Brightside by The Killers
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Post by Arianne Caroline Lane on Jun 15, 2011 6:51:26 GMT -5
 - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -LITTLE DARLING, THE SMILES RETURNING TO THE FACESlittle darling, it seems like years since it's been here- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -Everything looked somewhat vivid.
It felt strange, actually. She could see every corner of the somewhat bent letter she was holding. The fact that it wasnt completely straight, for the record, was pretty rare for Arianne. Generally, she was the kind of person who'd have everything in absolutely amazing shape - if a letter arrived all bent then she tended to use magic (and when she was younger she'd even used techniques like putting them under her mattress) to make sure they became neat and crisp and straight. And this letter had arrived in pristine condition, and had acquired its current state in the hands of the normally very, very neat Arianne, who wouldnt even tear up a piece of paper (and had it been so long ago since she'd been sitting doing that in the owlery when Rosemary had found her?)
When she first read the letter all she could feel was a numb shock. It seemed impossible to even breathe, let alone know how to react. How did one react when given news like this? She'd been shocked, despairing, elated, even a little jealous. And then she'd hated herself for most of what she'd felt. She'd tried to cry but no tears had come out, and she felt like she was unable to respond at all. Finally, she had taken the letter and her things, and walked out, because she'd realized that she had to tell someone or the other about how she was feeling rather than going mad, but who? Who'd understand. Her first choice was Liberty or Emmalee, but they were both in the same class, one which she wasnt taking. She remembered feeling glad that she didnt have a class that morning - what would she have possibly done in it?
Ther she'd remembered Anko. She could tell Anko, right? He'd understand. He had loads and loads of siblings. Or at least he'd know how she should be feeling, how she should react. Or if all else failed, she knew Anko would find some way to comfort her. She had always been able to count on Anko, he treated her like she was his little sister and she absolutely loved the way he made her feel. Safe, comforted - like she was not alone. And she didnt want to be alone just then. So she'd run to his common room, and then realized that he was nowhere to be seen and she didnt know his common room password, either. She'd spotted a group of young girls going in and had asked them if they'd seen him around, and had been glad when they'd told her that he was in the courtyard.
She'd been glad to spot him as soon as she entered the courtyard. Relieved, even, despite the fact that being outdoors, which she was not really used to, made her feel a tiny bit uncomfortable. As she walked towards him, bag on her back, letter still in her hand, even normally unobservant Arianne noticed how much he mirrored her own expression - he too was holding a piece of paper and looking...well, she'd call it upset, but she wasnt quite sure. There was too much going on. She sped up on her way to him, now concerned as much as she was interested in talking to him. She worried for him sometimes as much as he worried for her. Somewhat more, she suspected, but that could be attributed to the fact that she was more of a worrier.
As she walked in, she realized that he was holding what seemed to be a birthday card. Arianne had not, of course, missed his birthday - that was the kind of thing she could forget no matter how hard she tried. But she had not sent him a card, instead she'd sent him a tiny note. She wondered whose card he was reading just then, when she saw him open the box (a gift?) and take out his gift, and squeeze it, seemingly unaware of anything else just then, whisper some words that made her heart go out to him and she forgot her own trouble (could it even be called that?) for some time - in fact, she even forgot she had the letter still in her hand. Instead, she walked over to him.
She put a hand (the free one, without the letter) on his shoulder, gently, and then said, "Hey." She didnt want to startle him. Her voice was sweet, soft and full of concern - he'd been there for her enough and it was her turn now. She did not actually stop to consider that it was a vulnerable moment when he might want to be alone - such things did not strike Arianne very often, though her concern was absolutely genuine. "Are you okay?" She sat down next to him, her bright blue eyes shining up to him. She knew he missed his family a lot, but she hadnt really seen him get this emotional that often, and it scared her.
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LITTLE DARLING, I FEEL THAT ICE IS SLOWLY MELTING
little darling, it seems like years since it's been clear
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - tagged; anko
lyrics; here comes the sun by the beatles
listening to; hey stephen by taylor swift
word count; 843
outfit; school uniform
credit; to brooke from caution image by lillianporter |
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Post by Anko Morbova on Jun 15, 2011 11:37:21 GMT -5
"I miss you so much" the whispered words echoed through Anko's brain as if they were shouted into the deepest of hollow caverns. He didn't fully know when or how this drowning wave of depression had washed up on the shores of his normally exuberant and cheerful disposition. Now here he was with tears trickling down his cheeks, he was starting to cry...
Anko wasn't a crier! No, he was usually too happy to feel such troubled emotions but now as he sat there, the sun and its beauty raining down on him, it could have all been replaced with the darkest and dreariest of afternoons. He was sad. He missed his family, more specificaly, Izabella and he just wanted to run and hide...to be alone and let himself sink til he hit the bottom...
It had been a slow start to the new term, back at Hogwarts without many familiar faces. It was probably a main force behind his quickening despair. There were a few faces that helped to brighten his days back at school and one of those was Arianne. He hadn't seen her since he'd been back yet, but he knew she hadn't forgot about him...
He squeezed the necklace in his hand again and remembered the letter from Arianne on his birthday. She was a sweet and genuine friend, even if he felt like she was more of a little sister and always had the urge to watch out for her. He liked that feeling, the feeling like he was someone's little knight again...
As his brain was drowning in all these thoughts he hadn't noticed the girl approaching his solitude. He didn't notice her beside him and he didn't feel her hand on his shoulder. His eyes were closed and his senses unaware until he heard the voice...
"Hey", it was soft and delicate. It reminded him of Izzie, but she couldn't be here now could she? He jumped slightly, just a tiny bit shaken at the voice and the thought that it could be her. He turned and looked up at the soft, almost angelic face that stood over him. "Arianne..." his voice was weak and his mind was still foggy as he questioned who he saw. "Are you okay?" she asked her voice clearly full of concern as she sat down beside him...
That's when Anko realized that it was Arianne and that she was worried for him. He quickly turned away and wiped his red sleeve over his eyes wiping away any signs of tears. He didn't want her to know he might be crying, he didn't want anyone to know that...
Her words rang in his ears again as he turned back to face her. Although she was supposed to be like his little sister, she sometimes tried to reverse the roles and worry over him too. Perhaps instead of drowning he had found a life ring in the form of Arianne. Maybe she could pull him up from the depths that were pulling him under...
Anko shook his head to the side and blinked his eyes. He looked into Arianne's, which while they weren't nearly as intense as his they were still a very pretty blue. He balled the necklace up in his hand and tilted his head to the side, "Oh...yeah, I'm okay Arianne...don't you worry!" he realized that he wasn't ready to be saved so he quickly turned on his natural charm which was usually always on stand by as he looked at his friend and a small smile curled up on one side...
"Arianne...it's so great to see you! You are the first friendly face I've seen since I've been back!" He leaned in and gave his friend a warm hug and rather slyly dropped the necklace and card into the box. As he pulled, somewhat reluctantly from the hug he smiled to her again, nothing too bright, his smile at full force was quite a sight to see. His eyes fluttered softly as the blue intensified in the bright sunlight. "What are you doing out here?" he asked curiously. He knew Arianne wasn't exactly a big fan of the outdoors, which made it rather interesting that the two had become such close friends, after all Anko would spend his whole life outside if he could!
WORDS! 710
STATUS! Complete
TAGS! Anko & Arianne
INSPIRATION! The Killers
CREDITS! Template Byarro @ Caution!
LYRICS! Mr Brightside by The Killers
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Post by Arianne Caroline Lane on Jun 15, 2011 12:30:20 GMT -5
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -LITTLE DARLING, THE SMILES RETURNING TO THE FACESlittle darling, it seems like years since it's been here- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Arianne was really, really scared.
Because she was so used to Anko protecting her - so used to him being simply older and trying to stop her from ever being sad that to see him so upset absolutely scared her. She wondered who it was that he was missing so much. She knew that he had loads and loads of siblings, that was part of the reason that she'd chosen to come to him that day instead of going to someone else. She hadnt expected him to be actually crying though. She missed her home too, but to be honest she fit in easier at Hogwarts than she did at home. There were more people like her - or who liked her, at Hogwarts. But then, Anko had grown up in a very different environment from her. She wondered if she would've liked growing up like that. She thought of herself as too reserved for that.
She was glad that she'd come to interrupt him, however. Even if he seemed all hazy when he said her name and even if she had sort of surprised him, which she hadnt meant to. Even if she might be intruding on something very private, something that she should maybe stay away from. The courtyards were practically deserted at that time and she did not like people to be alone in their sorrow. At least, she did not like to be alone herself. From the beginning she'd found that sharing her sadness made it easier to bear and a lot of the time she found that she was being sad for an absolutely ridiculous reason, and it was easier to cheer up again. Arianne was sad sometimes even if she got an O and the professor implied she hadnt studied properly - though she did that a little less these days.
She turned her attention back to Anko, who did not seem inclined to give her an explanation. She frowned. "You dont look okay," she started to say, but he distracted her with a huge hug. How did he always manage to distract her like this? Arianne was not much of a touchy-feely person but she had to admit that even she was sort of reluctant to let go of him. All the things that were assailing her had suddenly crashed back down on her with that one hug, and it showed from her face. But this was not something she knew, so she continued talking as normally as she could manage, trying not to give away her own emotions, though her house had gotten a tell tale high-pitch and her cheeks had turned a blotchy red and she was starting to pull out and rearrange the pins in her tightly and neatly bound hair - a tell-tale sign that she was upset or highly nervous about something.
"Are you sure you're not just saying that to flatter me?" she asked him, though she was secretly very flattered anyway. "Generally there are crowds of people around you all the time." Which was true enough, she practically never got to see him alone - he was such a sweetheart and such a charmer that people gravitated towards him. It was just another difference between her and him (she generally was the one who gravitated towards people - or she stayed alone, if possible) and if Arianne stopped to reflect on it it was strange that they were such good friends at all, except that sometimes relationships didnt go by logic and she really, really thought Anko was amazing - and that was all that mattered, right?
His next question sort of startled her, she'd been too distracted first by the crying, then by the sudden charm, and then by how blue his eyes looked. They were sapphire as opposed to her own light blue eyes and something about them...but she stopped, snapped out, and tried to think again. "What am I doing out here? I came to talk to you, actually. Some girls at your common room told me you'd be here." Nowadays, she'd seen a lot of girls take interest in Anko, which she really didnt find all that surpising even if she couldnt even imagine actually thinking of him that way herself - he was too much of her brother to even picture herself with him.
She bit her lip and realized that the letter was still right there, still clutched in her hand, and she opened her hand slowly, realizing she'd dug her nails into her palm along with the letter. "I had something I wanted to tell you, actually," her face showed the tell tale signs of distress again - but this time, with some effort she forced herself out of the haziness that was somehow surrounding her. "But are you sure there isnt something that you want to talk about first? I mean, I dont want to probe you, Anko, you know that. I just want you to know that I'm here. If you need me. Anytime." He should've known that already, of course, and he probably did. But Arianne needed to make it clear. At some level she knew he wouldnt want to take her help, but she still wanted him to know that if he ever needed it she was there for him.
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LITTLE DARLING, I FEEL THAT ICE IS SLOWLY MELTING
little darling, it seems like years since it's been clear
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - tagged; anko
lyrics; here comes the sun by the beatles
listening to; hey stephen by taylor swift
word count; 867
outfit; school uniform
credit; to brooke from caution image by lillianporter |
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Post by Anko Morbova on Jun 15, 2011 13:25:47 GMT -5
Anko almost wanted to chuckle at the thought of Arianne being so worried about him, as she told him he didn't look okay. He was the one that looked after her and her sweet natured personality. He liked it that way, she need not be worried about him. He was sure, more than enough, that she had many other things on her list of worries. That was Arianne after all, the eternal worry wort...
He knew there were many a times that he would comfort her, wiping away some tears just to find out she had only gotten an O in class. She was silly that way, but it was cute and she wouldn't be Arianne if she didn't do that sort of thing. He was trying though, to help her loosen up and enjoy life and not worry so much...
She frowned when he wouldn't give in to her questioning. He knew that she wouldn't give up unless he distracted her, which wasn't all that hard to do with Arianne, another trait that at least in this current situation was a huge plus! He mustered up a soft smile and wrapped his growing arms around her in a tight embrace. She felt and smelled good, it was a soft scent that just smelled sweet. Part of him could tell she didn't want to end the hug anytime soon either, and there was something else, something about her felt...well not quite right...
He quickly turned on his sweet charm and she met it with a little hesitation at first. "Are you sure you're not just saying that to flatter me?" she had asked, her cheeks still a bit rosy. Could she be blushing? Weird! "Generally there are crowds of people around you all the time." she confessed and Anko thought on it for a moment. It was true, he'd always had lots of fun with other boys and now as he was growing up boys and more so girls were always around and he didn't always understand why he was so popular with his fellow students but he was a social person and he liked having people around...most of the time...
Anko wanted to keep the attention on her though, so that she could try and stop worrying about him and forget the idea that he might have been crying. He noticed the whole time that she was biting her lip and playing with the pins in her hair. "Oh Arianne, you are doing it again...I can always tell when you are fidgeting!" his famed crooked smile spilled over his lips and his eyes got wider as he reached out a hand and took her free hand and steaded it...
He then asked her what on earth she was doing out here anyway, again keeping the focus on her. "What am I doing out here? I came to talk to you, actually. Some girls at your common room told me you'd be here." she explained and Anko smiled again softly. He hopped up on the picnic table and put his arms up on his knees and propped up his face as he stared down at her, studying her soft face...
Girls, she mentioned girls. Yeah it was weird how all of a sudden more and more girls seemed to want to hang around and have Anko's attention. They weren't really that fun though, they didn't like to do what the guys liked to do but Anko tried to be nice when they came around. Arianne was different though, he never had a problem with her being around, she was like a sister to him. Well maybe not exactly, she sure didn't annoying him like Lucie!...
"Flattering or not, I am happy to see you Arianne but I don't know if you seem too happy to see me?" he questioned her perplexed expressions jokingly sticking out his tongue quickly, trying to lift her spirits. Then he noticed, as she bit her lip again and began to open her hand...
Her hand was very red, she had been giving a piece of paper a death grip and she had dug her nails into her soft palm. "Hey now, no need to choke that paper there!" he said with mock authority as he snatched up the paper and set it on the table. He took her hand and ran his fingers over the marks she'd left in her hand and he delicately ran his fingers over the palm of her hand as he stared into her blue eyes, there was almost a serenity that poured out of his finger tips as he smiled softly to his friend...
"I think you are the one who's not okay..." his voice trailed off as it held a sincere concern in it's tone. It wasn't long before he wasn't left wondering as she began to explain. "I had something I wanted to tell you, actually," she was obviously becoming upset and Anko softly squeezed her hand as he hopped down off the table and swung around on the bench sitting, directly facing her...
"But are you sure there isn't something that you want to talk about first? I mean, I dont want to probe you, Anko, you know that. I just want you to know that I'm here. If you need me. Anytime." Arianne confessed, but it was no use. She was at it again, trying to reverse the roles they'd come to know and it was sweet but she was the one in need now not he. He shook his head and held her hand softly in his and half smiled, "Don't worry Arianne you do too much of that no need to put me on that list. Now what's this about wanting to tell me something?" It was true, she needn't worry right now. Her presence had made him, at least for the moment, forget about his sadness. He leaned in as he asked her, his forehead practically pressed up against hers...
"Spill it sister!" his boyish giggle spilled out softly from his full lips as he leaned back and smiled curling up on the bench, tucking his knees up against his chest. "I'm all ears!" he laughed as he tugged on his cute ears and his smile shined brighter than it had since she'd arrived at his spot of sorrow.
WORDS! 1045
STATUS! Complete
TAGS! Anko & Arianne
INSPIRATION! The Killers
CREDITS! Template Byarro @ Caution!
LYRICS! Mr Brightside by The Killers
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Post by Arianne Caroline Lane on Jun 15, 2011 14:11:39 GMT -5
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -LITTLE DARLING, THE SMILES RETURNING TO THE FACESlittle darling, it seems like years since it's been here- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - She was alternating between looking happy and sad.
There were some things he said that made her feel insanely happy - but then, Anko had always had this effect on her - of making her happy - even though today it was a little diluted by her own news. But some things - like the thing about the fidgeting, actually made her laugh, although somewhat shakily. "You know me too well," she said hastily stopping all the fidgeting, when he took her hand. It was true that Arianne did not like to have her hair falling all over her face just like she did not like to have anything dangling near her, but over some time this constant correction of her dressing and hair in an order to look perfect had become a habit that she particular repeated when she was stressed, which she definitely was just then.
She watched as he changed his position so he was now facing her. That was Anko for you...when they'd both been younger he had positively been bouncing off the walls all the time. Again, so different from quiet, calm Arianne that it had shocked many people then and would shock them again now. Except that, sometimes she thought it was precisely that which brought them together. Anko made her more adventurous, forced her into fresh air at times (like just now) and made her have fun. And she liked to believe she calmed him down a little bit, and made him a little more responsible at times. Still, she was pretty much aware who was getting more out of their friendship, and more than grateful for it.
She frowned at his statement. Jokes had never been her strong point and she did sometimes miss them - or realize and laugh at them about half an hour after the joke was over, which tended to make people who didnt know her that well believe she had absolutely no sense or humor or that she was absolutely crazy. "Of course I'm happy-" she began to say to Anko, in all seriousness, but of course by this time he'd noticed her hands and her uncharacteristically bent letter (she noted how he put it aside and made no attempt to read it - and it made her trust him even more) and started to tell her not to torture to the poor piece of paper.
And then he was sitting right next to her again and he was telling her how she wasnt okay (and Arianne loved how he could tell without realizing that most people could - but she might have loved it even more if she'd realized he was one of the few people who cared enough to comment on it and try to help her) and how he thought she worried enough without adding himself to the list. Part of her still worried and she even was a little bit upset that Anko, as always, would not let her into his problems and just wanted to solve hers. It annoyed her, but a moment later she was overcome by emotion at his concern for her, and she had to struggle very hard against her tears.
She buried her head on his shoulder, glad that he was sitting next to her again. "I've just had some news from home," she said, very softly but just loud enough for him to hear. There was no need to whisper, perhaps. There was no else for many feet around them, and if there was she didnt expect them to eavesdrop - and it was not like she was sure she wanted it to be a secret, either. It wasnt such an awful thing, it was a happy occasion, but it was just so confusing. And it had disturbed Arianne, even if no one else would think it was important. And thats why she had run to the only guy in the world who'd call her his little sister. She half-smiled at that, though she didnt think he could see her because by that time she had already had her head on his shoulder so he couldnt see her face. She wasnt quite sure what she was feeling and not quite sure she wanted anyone else to know, either.
She continued, still softly. "Remember I told you my parents can't have any more children?" He was the only person who knew this. It had all come hurtling out because he'd caught her crying one day and she'd told him it was because her mother couldnt have any more children and she had a lot of expectations on her. That day had been the start of their closer friendship - their transition from being two people who said hi to each other in the hallways to being practically related. "Well...they just wrote me a letter saying that...mom is going to have a child. Now. After all this time." She paused. "And I know I should probably just be happy and all...but I'm so worried...the health risks...and everything and..." The first tear escaped just about then. "I just dont know what to feel, Anko. And I'm not sure I'm ready for this...its just so unexpected." She stopped paused, and tried to stop crying. "You think I'm overreacting, dont you?"
It was easy to think that way, except that being the only child was part of who Arianne was. It had, to some extent, shaped her. And she wasnt sure she could deal with that kind of change. And there was of course the sinking doubt in the back of her mind...if another child meant that she'd have less expectations on her, would it also mean that her parents would just care less about her?
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LITTLE DARLING, I FEEL THAT ICE IS SLOWLY MELTING
little darling, it seems like years since it's been clear
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - tagged; anko
lyrics; here comes the sun by the beatles
listening to; hey stephen by taylor swift
word count; 947
outfit; school uniform
credit; to brooke from caution image by lillianporter |
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Post by Anko Morbova on Jun 16, 2011 19:37:10 GMT -5
Anko smiled brighter the moment he heard Arianne's small laugh. He liked to make people laugh, especially Arianne, she was too serious too much of the time. It wasn't good for her, she was too young to be so stressed out so much...
When she confessed that he knew her too well, he chuckled and shook his head up and down. "Yup!" he chimed with a twinkle in his eyes. It was true, he couldn't really figure most girls out but Arianne was different. She wasn't like regular girls, she was Arianne. He could read her like a book, one of the few books he actually took the time to read...
Anko bounced around on the table to the bench and back and forth but always kept his eyes on his friend, who never moved an inch. It was true, they were vastly different in so many aspects of their lives and personalities but perhaps, opposites really do attract. There was no explaining how the two worked but they had become incredibly close and they didn't question it...
Anko playfully frowned telling her perhaps she wasn't happy to see him, trying to lighten her mood, but as he took in and examined Arianne's present disposition he knew the times for jokes had passed. He took her hand and sat face to face as he listened, he knew she wasn't okay, he wasn't sure how he could always tell but now he was happy he was able to...
His problems were a non issue when it came to his friends, specifically Arianne and now he was making her and whatever it was that was bothering her his number one issue. He hoped it wasn't another next to perfect mark in class though. He was quickly surprised though, which didn't happen too often with Arianne as she leaned forward and buried her head in his shoulder...
"I've just had some news from home," she cried out, just above a whisper but Anko's sensitive ears picked up every word. He softly pressed his head against hers and wrapped his arms around his almost trembling friend. He wanted to ask her what the news was, his own concerns of home mixing with the potential news that was now worrying Arianne. He wanted to allow her to explain whatever it was in her own time, so he just held her softly and waited...
It was only a few moments of waiting before Arianne continued in a hushed, soft voice, "Remember I told you my parents can't have any more children?" her voice was starting to struggle but Anko kept her in a hug and nodded his head in silent acknowledgement. It was true, Anko did know about her parent's inability to have anymore children. Arianne was an only child, and while there had been fleeting moments growing up wondering what it would be like, Anko couldn't imagine trading in growing up in his big family...
No one really knew about her families troubles. Anko knew how private a thing it was for Arianne. She only confessed it to him one day, years ago when he found her crying and she opened up to him. It was the day that created their special friendship. He knew that being the only child put a lot of pressure on Arianne, both from her parents and from herself. Pressure she didn't need...
Arianne continued to relay the news of the letter from her parents. They were going to have another child!? Anko's eyes grew wide and his mouth gaped open. He didn't really know a lot about child birth or those sorts of things, but he continued to listen and do his best to follow along...
Her words were coming out in spurts. She was pausing and thinking or over thinking perhaps as she tried to explain, but he could feel her starting to shake. He held her tighter and listened carefully. He knew that Arianne had told her that when she was born there were complications and risks that her mother would never be able to have another child. Now, with news that she was going to have a second child, he knew that it was more than enough to scare and worry Arianne for her mother's health and safety...
There it was, in her own words. She was struggling to be happy, she felt she should but she was so worried. That was Arianne. Anko would have been shocked if she wasn't worried. That's when he felt the thin fabric of his shirt starting to dampen. Arianne was starting to cry...
"I just dont know what to feel, Anko. And I'm not sure I'm ready for this...its just so unexpected." she confessed and Anko felt the drops of more tears. "You think I'm overreacting, dont you?"...she wasn't looking at him but he could feel her wide eyes filling with tears and despair. With her last question Anko knew it was his turn to speak and it was more than ready...
He hugged her tightly and whispered, "It's okay Arianne...", it's true he didn't know everything that could happen but in the instant he felt it was the best way to start. He unwrapped his arms from around her and held her arms in his as he sat back and looked into her reddening eyes. He shook his head softly from side to side, almost chiding his friend for carrying such a burden for as long as she had...
Anko pulled his cap from his head, it was his favorite but it would do in a pinch. He carefully wiped Arianne's eyes. It was something he remembered his mere doing from time to time when he and his sister were little and they found themselves overcome with tears. "Shush, shush...no tears mon petite chou!" he softly cooed, a soft yet concerned smile filling his lips. He couldn't help but sometimes slip into his French, he felt it made him sound silly but Arianne never made him feel that way when it came out...
"Zoot Alors!" he softly exclaimed taking her trembling hands in his. "That is certainly a lot to find out in a letter Arianne. But listen..." he trailed off as he took one had to lift her chin up and make sure she was looking at him. "No way do I think you are over reacting. Not for something like this!" he explained as his eyes grew wider with seriousness. "You just had your world shook up little sister and I think you are holding together tres bon!" he smiled sweetly and gave her a quick hug...
He wanted to ask her if her parents had explained if the doctors said it would be advised to have the baby, perhaps that could shed some light on whether or not Arianne need worry so much for the health side of things. "It's some scary news I bet! I mean, I'm sure you are very concerned about your mere, but if the doctors say that things have changed perhaps and that there are no risks?" he ended with a half question. He didn't fully expect her to answer, just more of a way to plant the seed in her mind that perhaps if she didn't know already that she could talk to her parents about that and find out some more answers...
"I know you and your parents are so very close. You are an only child, well have been for all this time and I would be so worried for ma mere too..." he cocked his head to the side and looked in Arianne's eyes. "There's something else...isn't there, it's not just worry for your mere's health. This baby means you wouldn't be an only child anymore. That's some big stuff too huh?" he questioned her hoping to dig just enough that she'd tell him exactly what else of it was bothering her. He knew being an only child was part of who she was, but surely she couldn't be too upset at the thought of having a brother or sister...
He leaned his head against her forehead again and locked his eyes on hers. "I know you...and I bet you are feeling a lot of things so it's okay to be unsure of how to feel. It's a lot to be dumped in your lap at once. Thoughts of your mere and of having a baby brother or sister." he reassured her, his eyes never leaving hers. "Is that part scary you too? Is that what you aren't ready for Arianne? Not being the only one?" his line of questions were to the point and hopefully striking a nerve that would let her feel at ease with telling him honestly and without fear just how she was feeling about that side of things...
"You are worried for your mother, but there's more..." his soothing voice trailed off in a whisper. He wanted to crack open the tight nut that was Arianne so that he could help her. He wanted to let her know that while he didn't know exactly what was in her brain, he was starting to put the pieces together. He wanted her to talk to him and let him help his friend, who was like a sister. Family was something that would always be of the utmost importance to Anko.
WORDS! 1510
STATUS! Complete
TAGS! Anko & Arianne
INSPIRATION! The Killers
CREDITS! Template Byarro @ Caution!
LYRICS! Mr Brightside by The Killers
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Post by Arianne Caroline Lane on Jun 17, 2011 7:32:11 GMT -5
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -LITTLE DARLING, THE SMILES RETURNING TO THE FACESlittle darling, it seems like years since it's been here- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - She had never been this glad to have Anko as a friend.
Of course, she'd always been glad. Since that first day, he helped her out in innumerable ways that no one else did. Comforted her after her first break-up (she'd gone out with the guy because he was her friend and she hadnt known how to say no, they had never had much chemistry, and they were still friends but she had still cried on that day), fought for her, stood up for her, listened to her, accepted her, forced her to lighten up on days when she got incredibly stressed - and just been for her all this time. She was sure that he hadnt gotten half as much support from her (she never knew the right thing to say, and he barely ever told her when something was wrong) - but he seemed to enjoy being her 'little knight' (he'd told her the story behind that, once long ago and she enjoyed the comfort, and they had gotten along pretty well.
Oh and of course she sometimes got very silly and cried for stupid reasons. Arianne could recall times when she got majorly upset because she got As or Es (only once had she gotten a P, and she had been extremely upset that day, but that day the task of comforting her had fallen on Liberty) and at such occasions, too, Anko was there with her, though she was sure she annoyed him at times like that. She was very sensitive and easily affected by the smallest things - and plus she took a lot of stress about her studies, anyway, overachiever that she was. But he didnt get angry on her and he didnt stop listening, which was why she was with him that day and not with anyone else. What was different about Anko was that she was not afraid to tell him what she felt and not afraid of losing him - not really, anyway.
She was glad that he'd hugged her and that she didnt have to look at him when she told him, it made things easier and it made her feel better. And so did his words. He just had to tell her that it was okay and she believed him at least subconsciously even if she wasnt sure how things could possibly be okay now - they would change somehow or the other. But he'd told her that enough times before that things were going to be fine and then they had become fine (mostly because she got an O in the next test but also sometimes because he intervened for her).
She stopped crying, though, as Anko removed his hat to dry her tears. She gently wriggled out of his grip. "Oh you dont have to do that," she said, a little shakily but not exactly tearfully - she was a little too dazed and unsure for proper tears yet. But she did know that she objected to the hat - because it was his favorite and because it was, well, a hat. She opened the first pocket of her bag and removed a pristine white handkerchief that was always there and carefully wiped away her tears herself. And then looked at him again, at his quiet crooning voice and she attempted to smile and didnt succeed very well.
"Shush, shush...no tears mon petite chou!"
She enjoyed it when he slipped into french. She'd never told him that but somehow he always did it anyway when she was really upset, like right now. Over time, she'd picked up a fair bit of his most commonly used words, not perfectly but just enough to make out what he was saying. She'd even tried once to learn it but had never managed to get the pronunciations correct. It was certainly not an easy language to learn all by yourself. Besides, nowadays it felt like she never had the time - she never had the time to eat or sleep or breathe, let alone actually learn something that was this different, but she'd promised herself that she would someday.
"You really think I'm handling it well? I feel like I'm falling apart. Since I read the letter, I feel like...well, I cant feel anything. I spent my morning in a sort of daze till I found you and I just dont know what to do," she confessed to him, rambling more than a little, but mostly because she was scared. Always, before, she'd felt something. one thing. And that one thing could always be seen by anyone around and generally it was easy for even Ari to recognize - mostly it was worry, or sadness, or happiness, or very rarely anger...but what was this emotion, this complex mix of being happy and being sad and guilt because you knew you should be happier than this?
His next question made her look serious, and a little worried, a tell-tale furrow between her forehead. Her father always told her she'd have wrinkles before she was 30 if she continued that way. "Well thats just it, you know," she said. "They havent said that there are no health risks. In fact, my parents werent even trying, it just happened..." She did not want to, and did not try to, think a lot about that. "And the doctors say they arent sure if there are no health risks. Though these are muggle doctors, of course." Her parents had always been very ingrained in muggle society - her father was a muggle and her mother had never fit into magical society, though they had ensured that Arianne grew up in a so magical an environment that she never felt comfortable with muggles. "They still have to go to St. Mungo's. I'm hoping they'll be able to do something." She frowned. "The doctors say its safer for the mother to not have the kid but they just want it..." She did not want to think about the risks to her mother, they were disturbing. She was too big a part of her life to think about losing her.
His next question hit too deep. That had been what she was feeling, exactly. Why wasnt she enough? After everything, was she still not up to their expectations? Did they still need another little baby? Especially when it was so difficult, especially when it was so risky? It reinforced all the inadequacy she had always felt. And then she felt awful. Shouldnt she be happier that she was getting a little kid, a sibling? She had thought often that it might be nice to have one, but now when actually confronted with the topic she wasnt as happy as she thought she'd be. But it went against her to be that selfish. Her parents were happy, and she should be happy for them, right? That was why she did not immediately answer Anko, instead leaning her head on his shoulder for a minute, lost in thought.
His words were reassuring. He did not hate her for not knowing how to feel, and didnt hate her for not being unconditionally happy. He understood. And then he asked her again about her fear of not being the only one. And continued with his statement about there having to be something more. And this time, she took a deep breath, and she did reply. Hesitantly at first, and then more comfortably. "Well, its just the thought of change," she replied, reluctantly. "I mean, there'll be a baby in the house. You know me - I'll probably run around the house trying to clean up after it." And that, she supposed, was the least of her worries about the baby - the mess it would create, certainly more than the dog or cat she'd wanted but avoided for that reason.
But she was not being completely honest, and she wanted to. "I dont want to lie to you Anko. But I know I'm being selfish and wrong but it is too difficult to not be the only child anymore. I just feel somehow...why werent they content with me? Why do they need someone else?" Would he understand? Probably not. He'd been born with loads of siblings older than him, and he knew that he was just as important as the rest - even Aleski, who seemed to be his hero - or at least she hoped that he knew that. But this was Anko, right? He wouldnt judge her.
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LITTLE DARLING, I FEEL THAT ICE IS SLOWLY MELTING
little darling, it seems like years since it's been clear
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - tagged; anko
lyrics; here comes the sun by the beatles
listening to; hey stephen by taylor swift
word count; 1421
outfit; school uniform
credit; to brooke from caution image by lillianporter |
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Post by Anko Morbova on Jun 21, 2011 7:45:58 GMT -5
The friendship between Anko and Arianne was a unique one indeed. They were so very different, and yet their differences were what made them good for each other. One very important part of Anko was his desire to protect those who he cared for...
He told Arianne the story one day, long ago about his nickname of "Little Knight" that his sister Izabella had given him and it was that ability and that passion to want to protect and be there for a friend or loved one in need that made him perfect for Arianne, at least it seemed that way to him...
Although he knew that Arianne felt she got more from their friendship than he did, he knew it wasn't completely true. Being able to focus on Arianne's troubles and life, more than ever, was a blessing in disguise for Anko. Today was a perfect example of it, in fact. He had shed his own tears over his problems but she, in her own way saved him from dealing with it for now. It wasn't a perfect solution but Anko was glad for the reprieve...
He could tell that she liked the hug, and Anko felt that it was just what she needed at the time. She didn't have to look at him when she told him what she had wanted very badly to tell him and he was able to make her feel a little bit safer...
Arianne gently pulled from his grasp as he tried to wipe away the start of her tears as she rebuffed his offer of his hat as a tissue. He watched as she pulled a perfectly folded handkerchief from her pocket and dabbed her eyes. Anko cocked his head and shook his blonde locks as he couldn't help but let out a soft chuckle. That was Arianne for you, always so proper and so lady like. Sometimes he just wanted to run up behind her and push her in a big mud puddle or make her roll around in the dirt. He couldn't do that to her though, but he did find enjoyment in the images of Arianne's face covered with mud. It was cute...
He smiled at her letting her know that he wasn't laughing at her in a vicious manner. He just thought she could be so silly sometimes, but it was what made her who she was. Anko noticed that she started to smile a bit more when he fell into some French accidently. Or at least he thought perhaps it was that. Whatever it was he just wanted to see his friend smile. She had a really nice smile...
Arianne finally spoke again and she was rambling more than he'd ever known her to before. She was scared, or at least he thought that's what he felt from her. She was so confused and didn't know how to feel. He wanted to let her know that he understood not knowing how to feel, he knew that more than she knew. He leaned in closer and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and smiled softly...
"Tres bon, mon amie!" he cooed. He thought, for Arianne this was actually not nearly as bad as she could be reacting. He could only imagine her ten times worse. She was handling herself more as the two had grown over the years. "Tres bon" he repeated giving her another soft hug...
His line of questioning started to work as she finally began to confess more of what was drowning her in her emotions. Arianne explained about the doctors, the muggle doctors not saying that there weren't risks for her mother, and that her parents hadn't even been trying to have a baby. Anko really didn't know a lot about making babies, obviously, but he also knew that although muggle doctors go to school and stuff to become doctors it must be very hard for them to get a long without magic...
Arianne continued, relaying that her parents still needed to visit St. Mungos. "C'est tres bon!" he squealed, with a gleaming smile hoping that thought would help settle her nerves even a tiny bit. "That's very good, St. Mungos is the best thing they could do to find out everything they need to know Arianne." he explained, it was the best place in the Magical World when it came to the world of medicine and magic...
If the doctors felt that it would be safer for her mother to not have the baby, it should be something that her whole family discussed. Unless, however, they said absolutely that she might not make it through the birth then it was something much more serious. "Perhaps once they visit St. Mungos you and your family can talk through it all. The doctors, you say, have not said absolutely that she shouldn't have this baby so maybe we can keep you from going insane from worry til you learn more mon ami!" he held her hands in his and tried to smile for her. This was some serious stuff, he was trying his best...
He studied his friend's face as his questions pushed her. He didn't want to push her too hard, but he could feel there was something more. Something she wasn't telling him about how this all made her feel. Then it all began to come out as he questioned her again about being the only one...
"Well, it's just the thought of change," she replied with reluctance. He nodded thoughtfully and patted her shoulder. He more than ever knew about change and how one could love or hate it. He listened though as she continued to open up about what was really eating at her...
"I mean, there'll be a baby in the house. You know me - I'll probably run around the house trying to clean up after it." she confessed and Anko smiled at his friend a giggle almost bursting from his lips. Yep! That sounded exactly like Arianne to him. He leaned in close pressing his forehead to hers once more. What happened next, the words that he found coming out of his mouth...well he didn't know where they came from, he certainly didn't listen to them himself but he was glad that they came...
"Change can be very scary! Change can be very hard...but change can be absolutely terrific too!!" he gushed. "Just think Arianne, if change hadn't happened in my family I never would have come to Hogwarts and we never would have met or become best friends!" he explained as he put his hands on her shoulders and leaned back letting the sun spill over him...
"And about you worrying over the baby and cleaning up after it. Well when my sister Lucie was born, I tried to feed her once and I got the food everywhere but her mouth. Not to mention I always tried looking after her, and even dressing her...ma mere didn't exactly find my fashion sense for the baby to be too good sometimes." he laughed as he remembered trying to dress Lucie in a tutu and rubber duck boots...
He looked deep into Arianne's eyes and his voice washed over her, he was about to make a very important point or at least he hoped. "Look, you are worried about how you will deal with a baby. Always trying to clean up after it and junk. That's what you are supposed to do silly! It's part of being the big sibling. My sisters did that over me and I got to do it when Lucie came along. It can be a lot to handle but it can be a lot of fun too!" he smiled brighter hoping he was getting through to his friend...
He thought he had finally got to the root of the issues but then Arianne spoke up again, and he was surprised with how she started. "I don't want to lie to you Anko." Lie? Lie to him? Arianne had never lied to Anko before, at least not anything serious really, there was that time when she knew about a party for his birthday but she wasn't a very good liar then either. He tilted his head and scooted back on the bench and listened...
"I don't want to lie to you Anko. But I know I'm being selfish and wrong but it is too difficult to not be the only child anymore. I just feel somehow...why weren't they content with me? Why do they need someone else?" the words all came rushing out of his fragile friend like a flood bursting through the gates. He hugged her tightly patting the back of her soft hair and whispered soft French coos in her ear to try and calm her...
It was true, Arianne and Anko had vastly different family make ups. His was large and at times seemed endless while Arianne's was small and compact. Both, however, he knew were filled with love...
"Arianne, it does not make you selfish. Non, non mon ami! Non! C'est...it's very hard at first...the thought of a new baby coming. It was really hard for me when I found out ma mere est pere were having Lucie. I was the baby and it was pretty nice." he explained, being the baby wasn't exactly the same as being an only child but he was trying his best to relate...
Her words of her parents not being content with her and needing another child rang in his ears. His back stiffened and his face tightened, an almost stern look washed across his soft features as he shook his head feverishly and planted his hands on her shoulders...
"Non! Non! Non!" he protested in a manner that was a bit more forceful than ever before. "Your family isn't replacing you, nor are they not content with you or love you any less Arianne!" his eyes were pleading with her to understand. His growing up in a big family really let him experience what it meant to grow with love as a family and he wished she could see it through his eyes now...
"Families are built on love. Tu mere est pere...beaucoup d'amour pour tu!" he was struggling to keep a hold of his thoughts and words. "Arianne, you said they didn't plan to have this baby but if they do have a baby it isn't because you weren't enough it's because your family has more love to give and grow from it. In my family, each and everyone of us are special and ma mere est pere love us beaucoup beaucoup!" he smiled brighter, his heart was racing faster as his words rushed out. He felt really smart right now and he really felt like he was being given wisdom beyond his young years to try and help his friend...
"Your mother and father will never love you less if they have another baby. If anything, you will be even more important and special because not only will they love you and still have all the special times with you, but you will have someone else who will love you and look up to you and be a very special part of your life that you can share with them." he gushed his smile brighter and brighter with each word...
Anko studied Arianne's face looking and hoping that she was making sense of everything he was saying. He leaned in and wrapped his arms around her gently as he softly kissed her on the cheek and smiled. "Your family could never replace you mon amie. Tu est tres special, and they love you very much...they just might have extra love now to give, it's not your love that they are taking away...it's new love they are giving to their family, a family growing with love." he explained in a whisper and pulled back from Arianne as the sun made him almost glow in the afternoon light...
"There is nothing wrong with you Arianne, you can be scared and worried and confused and anything else but you have your family and your friends...and moi aussi, and I'll always be here!" his lips curled up and his pearly white teeth gleamed like diamonds as his eyes sparkled in the sun. He felt very good right now, he had no idea where all of that came from, but he felt his heart beating and warming more than ever. His friend needed him and anything that he may have been dealing with was long gone from his mind for now.
WORDS! 2069
STATUS! Complete
TAGS! Anko & Arianne
INSPIRATION! The Killers
CREDITS! Template Byarro @ Caution!
LYRICS! Mr Brightside by The Killers
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Post by Arianne Caroline Lane on Jun 21, 2011 10:55:15 GMT -5
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -LITTLE DARLING, THE SMILES RETURNING TO THE FACESlittle darling, it seems like years since it's been here- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Arianne was not the most observant of people. She missed times when her friends were sad and couldnt always react to them. People got mad at her because they had to explain everything to her - be it a joke, or their feelings - stuff that they felt that she should already know. Stuff that they felt that she would have known if she'd been paying a little more attention or if she cared a little more. But it wasnt that she didnt care, and not even that she was not paying attention - Arianne simply did not get things sometimes. Though she tried, observation (unless forced to direct her attention to one thing) was not one of her strong points.
But she was not so self-obsessed that she stopped caring about her friends when they were sad, and when she finally got some of her thoughts working again, her first thought was that she'd noticed that Anko had been crying when she'd first entered on the scene, yet watching him now it did not seem likely - he was smiling lightly at the fact that she had found a handkerchief from her bag, and he seemed like he had forgotten his troubles entirely.
It had been something that Arianne had observed about Anko - he tended to forget his own troubles for his friends. He was dedicated to them to a fault almost. His devotion often made her feel like an awful friend. But now was not the time to ask him about his trouble, despite the fact that she felt slightly guilty (which showed on her face). Arianne resolved to ask him about that again - later, when things became a little more settled about her own situation. When she could actually form some coherent sentences. Arianne was not used to getting so incoherent and rambling quite so much, but with Anko, her words spilled out as quickly as his own.
And his words, were reassuring too. What he was saying was making sense, to a large extent. "Yes, the wizarding doctors are probably a little better than the muggle ones." She paused. "Much better. Medical advancement is much better in the wizarding world, unlike say aviation." She'd learned that a few years ago in muggle studies, which she took to stay in touch with her muggle roots, especially because her parents would not let her. Arianne had never wanted to be the kind of person who couldnt fit into muggle society, even when she knew she would be living there. Though of course, she was taking this class in secret - her parents would not approve of adding such a frivolous subject that they imagined she knew about to her already extensive course work. "And I bet if they say that its too dangerous they might even re-consider," she said referring to the doctors at St. Mungo's.
She looked really serious for a moment, haunted, as if she was imagining bad things. "I really dont want something to happen to Mom, Anko. I can't imagine life without her." She wrapped her hands around his shoulder, as if being close to him could give her strength. There was not a bit of exaggeration in that - more than anyone else, her mother and her expectations and her words and her actions and her inspiration had shaped Arianne. She was not Ari if she couldnt have her mother. "And it feels like...even if they lose the child now, or if they have to, somehow, it will still affect them. They'll change."
And then he leaned in and talked to her about change, and about how scary it could be, but how wondrous too. But it was the example that touched her the most. "You're right. And that would have really, really been awful. I wish this is a change like that, Anko. A good change." But she wasnt so sure. She didnt quite like change. It made her uncomfortable, because she'd finally settled into her life, even when it seemed to go all wrong - like when she failed something, or when the Potions Professor was somewhat nasty, or when she was forced to do homework till 3 am and then do prefect duties. It got stressful, but at least it was in her control - this one seemed way too unexpected.
Of course, thinking about all the things that often go wrong in your life, and then finding something that has happened that is worse, can be extremely sad, and that was clearly visible on Arianne's face, except that about that moment Anko filled her with another extremely comforting hug and distracted her by telling her stories about him being a baby, which she found extremely hard to imagine. For her, he'd always been big - bigger than her, at any rate, though he behaved like a child when it came to some matters, like girls. His next statement, however, made her actually give a somewhat troubled, and yet definitely-there smile. She pulled away. "I dont quite believe you were cleaning up after Lucie. Somehow I find that very hard to imagine," she said with a grin. Because while Anko was not completely messy (such people found it hard to get along with Arianne, who cleaned up many things almost subconsciously) he was not particularly the type of person who cleaned up after children.
"Though you might. You really adore her, dont you? All of your siblings," she was musing, talking more to herself than to him. "Everyone likes their siblings." She spoke out of a limited world experience, and she truly believed it. She'd always laid a large emphasis on her family. "Then why can't I?" His words about her not being selfish did not actually help her that much. "But you were a kid, Anko, you can't have been more than 3. I'm 15. I should not be feeling this way. I should be happier." She was mentally beating herself up. She was getting a sibling! She should love it already. Instead she was thinking only about herself. No matter what Anko said, she was selfish. And awful. And mean.
His next words were about her family not replacing her. But she couldnt shake that off, either. She knew he was trying very hard to convince her, but then his family wasnt the same as hers, how would he understand the pressure that she'd always felt on her, and how many times it would increase once there was someone else who could be compared with her all the time. She'd never be content. Either her siblings would no much better than her or he or she would do much worse, and either way she wouldnt be able to be happy.
"I guess so," she replied for his sake, but she wasnt really convincing at sounding convinced. "If they have that much love they could just show it to me more often. They dont need to have another kid." She paused. Her parents did show her affection, if not overt, it was more of the quiet word and the smile rather than the hug - and she sometimes longer for the other kind. "And no one has ever looked up to me before, and I doubt anybody would start now anyway." Which was true, everyone seemed to like Arianne well enough, but no one really respected her - most people didnt even know her and most people who did know her tended to get irritated by her. She knew even if she had a sibling she'd be friends with him or her. Despite the age difference. Oh, but the age difference! "Also, this kid is young enough to be my kid!" She paused, turned a slight shade of pink, and reconsidered. "Okay, maybe not, but we will never have anything in common, Anko!"
"And your family is different, Anko. You're so many, and you're so different, that it doesnt always feel like you're competing." She didnt know this for sure. But she imagined so from how close Anko was to most of his family - he fought with some of them for sure but she didnt have any hesitation about thinking that he'd die for them if he had to. But then, wouldnt she? "There are just...too many expectations." And these were not always from her family - more often, Arianne's pressures were caused by herself and by her imagining what other people expected from her - but that didnt make them any less real or stressful to her.
And then she heard his final statement, and she started crying again, though it was more happy tears than the actual sad tears of before. For a moment then, it seemed like he was shining - though she imagined it was a combined trick of the light and the tears. Finally, she hugged him tight. "Anko, you are the sweetest person I have ever met," she said, in all honesty. She stopped, and then struggled to get out the words. "I dont know what I'd have done without you, really. And not just this time. Every time." She dabbed her brilliant and rather wet blue eyes on the handkerchief, still not releasing him from her embrace. Somehow, just being close to him was good. As if he could send her support through his touch, as improbable as that was.
[/size] [/sup][/blockquote] - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
LITTLE DARLING, I FEEL THAT ICE IS SLOWLY MELTING
little darling, it seems like years since it's been clear
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - tagged; anko
lyrics; here comes the sun by the beatles
listening to; stay beautiful by taylor swift
word count; 1574
outfit; school uniform
credit; to brooke from caution image by lillianporter |
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